Sunday, March 15, 2015

Friendzone

I've never been in a relationship. I've never fallen in love. So I don't really know what it's like. But recently, I've been thinking about him, been wanting to see him, and been longing to be with him. He's a friend by the way. There's no romantic thing going on between us. But I fear that I'm developing some feelings for him already. Who wouldn't fall into someone who's kind and responsible and has values. He's probably one of the kindest persons I've known.

With all the stress that I encountered these past few weeks (theft incident and finding a new apartment), I am thankful that he was there helping me transfer all my stuff to my new place. At first I really didn't intend to ask him because I was kind of shy but due to some unexpected events, my lab mates called him and asked if he can help me. Sunday came, he arrived at my old apartment in the afternoon. Him, me, and my two housemates put all my boxes in his car. One of the moments I can never forget was when he carried my air conditioning unit up on his shoulders. It was heavy and I never expected he'd carry it like a kargador. He's one fine guy so I really couldn't imagine him doing things like that. We were able to transfer all my things (even my bed) in just a short period of time and everything went out smoothly. Then, together with a friend, we had dinner and went to a coffee shop after. It was filled with chit chats and I really treasure those moments because I get to discover a lot of things about him.

Just the other day, he helped me transfer a set of table and chairs in my apartment. After work, we met in Handyman to pick up the set. The chairs were assembled but the table wasn't because it might not fit in the car. We called our friend to help us. We had dinner first. It was like two hours of conversation. We, then, went to my apartment. Me and my friend carried the chairs and he carried the table. Only in the apartment, while screwing and assembling, had I realized that the table was heavy. And he was the one carrying it from the parking to the stairs up to the second floor. Had I known it was that heavy, I would have asked the guard to help him. We had to make sure that the stand of the table is placed at the proper corners but I had no ruler so he used a paper to make some measurements instead. And it surprised me again! I had no clue he knows some carpentry stuff. Haha! After assembling the table, we sat on the chairs and had some conversations again. We were talking about the location of his apartment and he drew a map. Guess what? I was amazed at how good he is in drawing a map. He's definitely way better than I am!

Okay, so I was over the moon after those things. But just to be clear, whenever I am with him, I feel comfortable. I'm just myself, no pretensions at all. I don't have to be ladylike or anything. Probably because we're friends, being with him is just light and easy and fun. Only after those moments do I feel kilig, like a high schooler who has been with her crush. Haha! Hashtag late bloomer!

Becoming friends before falling in love is my ideal relationship. In that way, you get to really know each other, there's no best foot forward kind of thing. I hate it when someone pretends that he's like this or like that just to please the other and then you'll know his true color when you're already in a relationship or when you're already married. When you're friends first, you get to know the other person really well -- up close and personal. 

But the problem is that, I can't confess my feelings for him because he's my friend. I don't want things to get awkward between us. And besides, he's not showing any hints so maybe he just sees me as a friend. Oh well, so this is what it feels to be in the... (refer to the picture below)




But then again, I am still hopeful that someday, somehow, my prince will come.


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