On Motherhood and Backup Plans

I just have to write it now, lest I forget. So today, I experienced the sweetest moment here in Germany so far. As I was putting my bags in the taxi, a little boy, maybe 3 or 4 years old with a bandage on one of his eyes, came near me and said Hallo. His mother was behind him. And I also said Hallo (which was kind of high-pitched, which I hoped doesn't sound weird). He was so cute and sweet he even went nearer but I was already seated in the taxi. As I was about to close the door, he pushed it and closed it for me. Seriously, I wanted hug and kiss him. And then, in a nearby bench, the mother and son took a seat and as I was there, inside the taxi, watching them, I realized I wanted to also have a moment like that. I wanted to, one day, walk with my future son or daughter, and just sit on a bench when he or she is already tired, and just enjoy every second of being with him or her.

In my younger years, I haven't really thought much about being a mother. But now that I'm a thirty-year old adult grown up, motherhood is something that I'm starting to dream about. To be honest, I never thought this day would come. My dreams used to revolve around two things: having a successful career and meeting the love of my life. Marriage and family only comes after that. Now, as I'm climbing the career ladder, I have to say I don't really know if I'll ever meet the right man but one thing's for sure, I don't want to put motherhood on hold forever. So I'll just continue and focus on my work and save, and I am giving myself an ultimatum, which is - By thirty five years old, if I am still not married, I will either adopt or have my eggs frozen and ask for someone to donate sperm cells and have in vitro fertilization. All of these options are expensive so starting from now, I really have to save little by little. Of course, I am not closing my doors when it comes to having the whole process of motherhood in the usual, natural way. I want to experience that also but...

...backup plans are needed, just in case.