Struggling Still

Just dropping by here. I'm still not done writing my thesis and it's been a long time already (~7 months). I'm planning to submit it to my supervisor on the first week of December but there's still a lot that I need to add. I miss my old self where, even though I'm working in the last minute, I had the focus and determination to finish the task on time.

As of now, THE thesis is the priority. I try to stop thinking about all the other uncertainties in my life. A few months ago, I was worrying a lot if I can still stay here in Germany after my contract ends and I was trying to get a job as soon as possible (which until now I haven't landed one yet). I didn't want to go home because the quality of life here is way, way better. But then, the past months have been really hard for me here. I felt so alone, sad, lonely, anxious, and depressed and I miss the warmth and support of my family and friends back home in the Philippines.

I am just super exhausted now, trying to just power through to finish this thesis and trying not to think of my future much (at least at this moment). Sometimes, I am also thinking of quitting but I feel like I'm a big failure if I ever do that. Everything will just be wasted. But of course, quitting is always an option. But I'm also telling myself to do everything in my power now to get through this and if it will not work in the end, at least I know I did everything I can.

Okay, I have to get back to working on my thesis. I really need all the miracle right now, dear Lord.

If you're in the same situation struggling with something, I hope you will not give up and know that eventually you will overcome it. We will overcome this!!!