Friday, December 1, 2017

Moments in 2017: A Reflection

Again, I have to say this, "Time flies!" I guess when one gets older, time suddenly passes by fast compared to when one was still a child. And look where we are now! Hello December! It's only a month before the year ends and I just want to take this moment to reflect on what my 2017 was/is all about.

This year has brought me to the happiest and saddest moments of my life.

I'll start with the saddest first. Saddest, because my grandmother passed away. I still remember that faithful day of  the 18th of April. It was about 5:30 am and I was preparing for the day when my phone rang. At first, I thought it was my alarm but then it was a call from my mom. She told me what happened and right at that moment, tears started flooding my eyes. We know my Lola is in a bad condition, we know that she's dying but you still cannot be prepared when that moment, death, actually happens. Up to this day, I still have thoughts of What if I traveled a day before instead of planning to go home on Friday, then maybe I will be by my Lola's side during her last breath? There is still guilt in me that I haven't done the right thing. When my brother told me the details of Lola's last moments, it's as if it's happening in front of me. He's a nurse so he knows what's happening and what's coming next. And now that I think of it, if I was there, I wouldn't be able to handle the situation in a calm way. I'm a very emotional person (though I rarely let others see what I truly feel) so I can just imagine the panic and drastic feelings I'll be having if I was there. But then again, I still wish I was there. I was hoping that my Lola would still get through it, that she'll be healed and get back to normal because I don't want her to die with a frail body. I don't want her to die suffering. I want her to die happy and in peace. But God has better plans than mine. In the end, what's important is that she's now with the Lord. I just hope she's looking at me now from the heavens. On a lighter note, I also hope that she's whispering to God my heart's desires.
Taken last February at the wedding of one of her grandchildren.
I really love the way she looks here. She seems very happy.

Happiest, because my dream of pursuing a PhD has finally become a reality. And I just couldn't ask for a better place than where God has put me now. I will always, always be grateful for this opportunity. Getting here was never easy but it's all worth it. I applied to a lot, and I mean really a lot, of graduate programs back in 2016. Then, I saw a scholarship announcement in January this year. I sent my application and, fortunately, I was one of the candidates who get into the interview stage, then another interview, and finally I get the acceptance letter. It was fast getting my visa but acquiring the exit clearance was a different kind of level. It was a nightmare, with all the bureaucratic and very slow processing of papers. I've never been so stressed and angry in my life than that. Two days before my flight, that's the only time I got my exit clearance. Anyway, as they say, all's well that ends well.

So, that probably sums up my 2017. We still have a month so let's see if there are still some surprises.

P.S. Oh, speaking of surprises, the other day I got a [bad] surprise. I got into my first bike accident here in Germany. I was in a hurry that morning and was supposed to transfer from the road to the sidewalk/bike lane but I haven't noticed the level was a bit high and the road was wet, my tire didn't get through and then, everything was a mess. I fell face down on the cement. Got some wounds and bruises in my face, a bleeding mouth, a loosened front tooth, and a big wound in my right knee. And a day before that, I got bitten by a mouse while in training. Life is certainly full of surprises! Huhu!

No comments:

New haircut, Aztec Healing Clay, and Empties

Hi everyone! Just a little update. I've never gotten a haircut since I left the Philippines last July. It's been 7 months alrea...