Because I Miss Fashion

ZARA Lookbook 

(April 2013)

Source: Click here.

Bullying happens everywhere

Just when you thought you're done with the bullies you met in school, you realize 

that bullies also exist at work. 

A sad reality: Bullying happens everywhere. It can happen among kids, teenagers, and even among adults. They say maturity comes with age but it doesn't apply for everyone. They say maturity comes with experience but it also doesn't apply for everyone. Sometimes, people who are older than you, people who are more experienced than you, people whom you expect to teach and lead you are the ones who bully you.

The past three weeks (which is also my first three weeks at work) has been an emotional roller coaster ride. Seriously, it felt like three months already. Every day I wake up thinking of what will happen. Will my immediate supervisor talk to me in a loud voice again (to the point of scolding)? Will he point my mistakes over and over again? Or will I be spared from his moody personality for even just one day? It's difficult to live in a situation like that. Anxiety is my constant companion.

My immediate supervisor is a fellow Filipino who has studied and lived in different countries. He's way older than me, twice my age plus add a few more years. He always says he has 25 years of experience. Yes, I know he's intelligent and all. He's very outspoken and direct to the point. But the problem is, his outspokenness lead to the point of being arrogant and intimidating. He's like the Mr. Know-It-All. I remember during my second day at work, he asked me what I did in Korea and I told him what my experiments were about and then he asked about the softwares I used. I said I haven't really used a software but I just compared the sequences using BLAST. He then told me that even elementary students know how to use it (in a loud voice). To be honest, I was insulted of what he said. It's like saying that I know nothing, and even kids can do what I've been doing. Out of respect, I just didn't say a word. I just fell silent. Several instances like that happened. He's always the one who has a say. He's always the one who's correct. He wanted me to do exactly what he's been doing. And for him, the other people in the lab are not doing their job well. He's always the one who's superior and I and the other labmates are the inferior beings. But during all those moments I just keep my cool. I try to avoid answering back at him out of respect. But there were nights when I feel that I should have defended myself and my labmates, that I should have told him that what he's doing is wrong, that putting other people down and regarding himself highly is not a quality of a good leader. A good leader encourages others to do well. A good leader uplifts others.

A week ago, after discussing some work matters, I told him what I felt. I told him that I'm nervous, that I'm fearful, that I feel small when I'm with him. I even got teary-eyed. He asked me why and I told him he's very outspoken and intimidating. It was kind of a long conversation but in the end he said that he will not change himself because that's what he is. He even told me he'll give me his bio data so that I'll know him more. A bio data, seriously? What an arrogant human being! Deep inside me, I wanted to tell him this, "Why do all the people around you always need to be the ones to adjust to your attitude, why can't you make an effort to change?" He's really testing my patience.

Last Friday, I couldn't take it anymore. I talked to my labmate and he advised me that it would be better to talk to our boss about it. I told my boss everything and she told me she also wanted to talk to me because apparently my immediate supervisor told her that I am not willing to learn. Omg, so he has easily judged me as someone who's not willing to learn! What he's doing is really unfair and I have to say I'm not happy anymore. Sure, he knows a lot of things but being with him is not emotionally healthy for me already. It's been too stressful.

Tomorrow, my boss will talk to him and after that the three of us would sit together. I really don't know what will happen but I am determined not to be silent anymore. I will stand up and fight for my right!

Just Give Me A Reason

Two passionate and amazing singers.

One song.

One word. Perfection.

Realizations on my first day at work

First days are one of the hardest and most awkward moments. Remember your first day in kindergarten or in grade school? Your first day in the university? Your first day at work?

I finally got a job and yes, today's my first day. Okay, so this post is just going to be short. I just want to share what my immediate supervisor told me.

"I will not spoon-feed you. And since you're a researcher, I will expect more from you."

His words felt like big weight has been placed on my shoulder. But hey, I should not let those words put me down.

I'll do my best to excel in my craft but I will not let it hinder me from enjoying life. 
Learning is a process and I will take it one day at a time.

Interview In Progress

Interviews, no matter how many times I've taken them, always make me feel nervous. Here's the thing: An interview is a critical part in any job application because it can make or break everything you've written in your awesome resume. Yes, you finally sent that well-written resume. No doubt, you got the education and experience! And you think you're just perfect for the job. You're done with the cover letter. You got a call or an email message. And now, you're all set for the interview!

But, what should we really do with the interview so that everything turns out well? Yes, preparation is the key. One needs to do his research on three things:

• his/her self
• educational background
• skills and abilities
• previous work experiences (In my case, all my research experiences.)
• future plans

• job
• methods involved
• how you can apply your knowledge and skills in that job
• importance of that job in the path you want to take

• company 
• vision
• how you can connect yourself to that vision
• interpersonal skills with the other members of the company

Here are also some of the things that I did to keep my nerves at bay.

- If you have lots of time to spare before the interview, you can watch a movie (that brings good vibes) in your phone or in whatever gadget you have. In my case, I watched my favorite parts in one of my favorite feel-good movies, Pitch Perfect.

- Keep calm even though you're really feeling nervous deep inside. Make sure that you look calm and collected in front of the interview panel. Flash them your perfect smile. It will help a lot.

- Answer the questions as simple as possible. Don't complicate things. Choose your words properly.
Be direct if you must. But if you're facing a difficult question and directly answering it will not help, learn some ways to get out of that bush before you get lost.

- Don't give too much details especially when it comes to your future plans.

-Pray. 

Remember that you need to leave a good impression and prove that you're that amazing person you've written in your resume...and so much more!

Overall, I think my interview last week went pretty good. Finally got the call the other day! One happy girl here! =)


image source

One of my many goals

All my bags are (un)packed

Off to Los Banos tomorrow and I haven't packed my things yet. Los Banos is in a different province from where my home is (8-hour bus ride away). I used to live there before, when I was still in the university and while working.  And now, I am once again setting my foot in that town to find a job. And I really hope I could get it.

I usually travel during the morning and the night before was my time to prepare and pack my bags and it's also the time I hated the most. The thought of leaving my family is really difficult and even though I had experienced it a couple of times before, I still think I would not get used to it. It's heartbreaking but it's a sacrifice to be made.

Enough of this post, I should be packing my bags now...but I don't want too...but I have to. =(

Note to Self