It comes and it goes. And it's too familiar...that feeling when everything around you isn't falling into place.
Not so long ago, I dreamt of becoming a doctor. But I've given up that dream and, instead, just focused my energy into getting into a PhD program. These past few months, I've been applying to several grad programs. However, until now, the odds aren't in my favor. I guess my background doesn't fit quite well with what I wanted to pursue. I guess nobody believes in my capabilities.
I guess I'm also starting to-- not believe in me.
Aside from that, I have also realized that for several years now, I've been praying for someone special to come into my life. Someone who will swept me off my feet. Someone who will love me. But I guess, that someone is in a faraway land. So far that it seems it's impossible for us to meet. Or maybe, that someone doesn't exist at all. Maybe some people have their love story, others don't. And I belong to the latter. Maybe it's time for me to stop wishing for that someone and to live my life just as it is.
I am one independent woman after all.
I know there are still a lot more people who had it worse. But being in this place - it's never easy.