- looking and researching grad programs
- preparing the requirements for online application
- waiting for the results
- receiving the (dreaded) results
- embattled/feeling down
- moving on/starting all over again with other grad apps; and ultimately
- being accepted in a grad program (which I'm still waiting to happen)
I'm always just in step 1 to 6 then back to step 1 again. I already received three rejections, which I can also equate to being heartbroken. It's like I have courted three programs but sadly, I'm not good enough for them. Here in the Philippines, we have a term if a guy courting a girl received "No" for an answer. He is basted and that's how I am right now, how I've been three times already. And of course, every time it happens, I can't help but feel down, undeserving, even regretting for not doing a spectacular job in college. I really wish I have a cum laude or even magna cum laude under my belt but I was just an average student (not stellar but also not someone who fails his/her subjects). Had I known that the competition for gradschool scholarships is tough, I would have tried harder. But it's too late for that. What's done is done. And I can't undo the past. But it's a lesson learned. A big lesson actually.
Though I am in an unfortunate situation right now, I'm still thankful I have a strong support system. My family, for always being there for me. My mom always reminds me to never give up and continue to keep on trying. A friend of mine told me that I can feel down and be "emo" with the results for one day but that's it; tomorrow I have to pick myself up. And last but not the least, I know that God has great things in store for me. I just have to believe and have faith because with Him nothing is impossible.
So yeah, even if it's not an easy road, even if there are bumps and detours, even if there are storms, I will carry on. I will continue with this journey and press on towards my goal. And as Bianca Piper said it, Well, I'm off to do some believin' and hopefully achievin'!
Image source here