Here I am again

Here I am, sitting/lying in my bed, listening to some christmas songs. It just feels so peaceful. But in my mind, there are a lot of things going on...

After dinner, I decided to do some jogging/walking in the campus. The weather was perfect, it's already getting cooler. I tried the routes other than the ones I usually take. There weren't many people so it's just so nice to walk and explore other parts of the campus. And the inevitable thing happened - me pondering about my life. Once in a while, I do get into this stage. It's nothing new and I think other people also experience this (right?) but whenever this happens to me, there's something different, something special. I feel like I'm in a trance. The first thing that came into my mind is this, I am not getting any younger. I am approaching the point in my life where I have to become fully matured. Technically, I am already considered an adult - hello 24! And in a few months time, I'll be 25. Whew, time flies! But I still feel like I'm not yet matured, emotionally. 

Love is probably the word I am ignorant of. Well, let's be specific - romantic love that is. In my age, I should be in a relationship, enjoying the moment with my prince charming (boyfriend being the realistic term). But no! There ain't no prince charming. However, I must say I am enjoying the moment. But there's just me. Just me... No other one in the equation. One might say, "Oh how sad," but don't pity me. It's fine. Well, not very fine but I can handle it. I have learned through the years how to act in front of other people, especially the ones who are in a relationship. I have learned to convince myself that it's okay, that I'm still young, and that someday I will meet him. But reality check - I am not that young anymore and when will that 'someday' come, or will it ever come? Well, I hope it will still come because I want to know what love actually is.

P.S. Since christmas is just around the corner and I'm in an emo state tonight, might as well dedicate something to him