On Friendship and Suppressed Feelings

It was your birthday and we all had a great time dancing and singing the night away. It was also the moment I decided that even though I like you, it's better to just keep it to myself and that I'd probably be happy if we remain just as we are...friends. 

After you drove me to my apartment (by the way thanks for driving all of us), I was convinced that it's better this way. You and me and this friendship. And I don't want to ruin it.

I always remind myself to stop liking you as someone special. I thought I was doing fine. But the more I convinced myself, the more my suppressed feelings are coming back to life. 

Last night was not an exception. 

This morning, I thought it was all gone and that I'm ready to go back in track. But the feelings are still there. If I were brave enough, I would definitely tell you all these random things: 

     I love...
            looking at your eyes
            how much taller you are compared to me
            sitting in the front seat of your car
            all those silly things you say to me and to other people
            the way you speak
            how kind you are
            that you are a family-oriented guy


But sadly, for now, they would have to sit here in my blog until I find the courage.


-DBC-