Burst of Random Thoughts

It's a few minutes til midnight but here I am. Here I am again. I seriously miss writing something deep, as if I'm a writer but I'm afraid I am not. This is just me spilling all the thoughts in my mind right now. This is gonna be so random and spontaneous and brutally honest. Uhm, so where do we start?

These days I have to admit that I am not really happy with my life. I feel like I am stuck here, not moving where I need to go, not moving up, not moving anywhere, just stuck. I used to say I need an adventure. But never mind that adventure, I just need something new. I feel bored and simply not moving forward with my life. I suddenly remember a line in a movie, "Aren't we supposed to be great by now?" After twenty eight years of existence, I'm proud to say I have accomplished some things but I'm not there yet. Greatness? What greatness? I think I would achieve that if I have already pursued my lifelong dream... Doing what I love while having an impact in this world. That would be greatness for me. But I am still here. Still far. But I do hope that I'd get there soon.

Now let's talk about love or rather let me talk about love. But I haven't experienced being in a romantic relationship yet. I used to think that someday my prince will come. But what if that day never comes? What if our souls never meet? One thing's for sure, I don't want to settle for less. I've seen people live life being with someone, being married to that someone but never really being in love. And I don't want that. I don't want to have someone just for the sake of a marriage contract. I don't even want to marry someone just because the clock is ticking and I'm getting old and he is getting old. I want to experience that real, genuine love. The love that will do everything to make you happy. The love that you can feel even by just looking at each others eyes. The love that will never get tired and that will last a lifetime, even beyond. Now, I do sound like a hopeless romantic. But I really want a genuine love, deeper than physical affection. A love which can be felt in the deepest part of your heart and soul.

From greatness to love. Then, what's next? Okay, so as random as it gets, here are some of the things I've been wanting to do.

• read a novel
• talk to a stranger (but not in a creepy way, okay?)
• make a new friend
• try a new hobby
• be honest with myself
• cry if I feel like crying
• laugh until tears fall from my eyes
• be so mad I wouldn't even care what other people might think of me
• disconnect myself from others that are not bringing joy to my life
• meet my soulmate
• fall in love
• take that one bold step
• make my dreams come true
• live in a place where not one single soul knows me
• be whoever I want to be
• travel the world
• deactivate my facebook 
• save some money
• invest in something worth investing
• grow my investments
• drive my own car
• drink a beer or wine
• learn to cook (uhm no thanks!)
• be friends with a fellow blogger
• have a pet dog

Wish me luck!