I am already 29. Expectations include being on top of my career as a scientist and being in a relationship with someone and eventually marrying him and starting a family. Reality is being a researcher struggling to get into a PhD program and living a life of singleness/singlehood whatever term you call it. Forgive me if I'm being so negative here but that is the truth. I'm also struggling with anger management. I hate to admit but recently, I feel that I'm VERY quick-tempered. When a problem or misunderstanding arises, it doesn't matter who I'm with, whether family or friends or people I don't even personally know, I will get angry and show it in the worst possible way. I'm having a hard time controlling my emotions. And honestly, I don't know what will happen if I tried suppressing them. I just have to get those emotions out of my system. The end result? Hurting other people's feelings and realizing that I should've not done that. I should've handled the situation in a proper way, in a way an adult deals with it.
However, I don't want to punish myself for being like that. I want to change. I want to learn how control my anger. I want to learn how to voice out my side without being aggressive. Also, I want to focus on my goals and achieve them, one by one, slowly but surely.
I want to be better.
I may not be the person I'm expecting to be at this age and time but I'd like to think that I'm a work in progress.
I'll be ending this self-reflection/rambling with these lines (again from the movie That Thing Called Tadhana ):
Mace: To the great people we could have been.YES! TO THE GREAT PEOPLE WE WILL BE!
Anthony: Parang ayaw ko naman yatang mag-cheers dyan. (Translation: Looks like I'm not agreeing with that.)
Mace: To the great people we are today.
Anthony: Sinungaling. (Translation: Liar.)
Mace: To the great people we will be?
Anthony: To the great people we will be.