Hey You, Goodbye

This is getting harder each passing day. Why am I so emotional? Why do I feel so attached? Well in fact, I don't even know if he feels the same way.

Last night was his last night in Korea. He went in the lab in the afternoon and we worked on some email. In my mind I was hoping we would have dinner together but  he told me needed to meet his aunt and cousin for dinner. So yeah, I got no dinner invitation and had dinner all by myself. Before he left, he said goodbye but also told me he'd be returning in the lab in the evening because he still needs to clean his desk. All I said was, "See you later." Evening came and I went back in the lab, sat in my chair, and stared in front of my laptop thinking about how I'd say goodbye to him. Thirty minutes. One hour. One hour and a half passed. It's almost 9 and he hasn't returned yet. I just decided to go home. When I was in the hallway, the lights were on in the Undergrads' Room and I thought maybe he already arrived. I knocked and opened the door but he's not there. To my dismay, I just walked with a heavy bag and a heavy heart thinking I would not be able to see him anymore...

But surprise, surprise! I suddenly saw him walking towards my direction! All I ever felt during that moment was happiness and I thanked God for letting me see him even for the last time. He asked me if I'm already going home and I said yes. He's holding something and while giving it to me he said so many thank you's, Thank you for helping me...Thank you for this...Thank you for that... And my answer? I smiled shyly and said, "It's nothing." And now I wish I could have said something better. Oh, I'm really bad at close encounters.

He gave me a papingsu (a Korean summer dessert). A big one! I consider that the best papingsu I've ever seen so far. I just don't know if I said, "Let's eat this." but I just heard him saying, "You eat this with your friend." And we said our goodbyes to each other. Ahhhh! I hate myself! I'm good at imagining things but when I'm already in that position, I become speechless, starstrucked, or I tend to say nonsense things. Grrrr! So, I just went  to the lab of my friend.

We decided that instead of eating the papingsu by ourselves, we'd better go to him and just eat together. So there, we ate together, the three of us plus another friend. Had some fun conversations like telling him he should breathe the air hard when he gets off the plane because there's something special about breathing the air of a foreign country for the first time. All in all, our conversations were filled with laughter.

Then, we said our final goodbyes.

Late at night, I received a facebook friend request from him. I told him he'd better sleep and have some beauty rest. On a serious note, I wished him a safe flight and told him there's a new world waiting for him and he should just enjoy every moment of it while he's there and added that I'm just a facebook away. I slept still thinking of him. Woke up at 10:30 in the morning and read his reply  that was sent at 6AM saying he'll never forget the help that I gave him and he also wished me to be happy during my stay here in Korea. I wanted to tell him he's one of the reasons why I feel happy...

But of course, I did not say it.